olden times technology

Today i decided to do a good dead for my landlords and mow the backyard. I used an old timey lawnmower, self powered spinning blade kind of shit. It was AWESOME! I was burning calories like a madwoman and I could see what was happening as it was happening.

Product Tip: Manual Lawn Mowers

Doggy Destruction Count: he has been good. I am shocked. ps. he doesn't like lemon soup. We tried...I guess he doesn't like Greek Food

SLACKER

Ok, I have been slacking. I just have been soooo damn tired. And frankly I don't have much to say.

Dog Destruction count: not much destruction. I KNOW some bad shit is gonna go down soon. I can feel it.

Product Advice: Honestly I am trying to cut down. It is a recession folks, and even I am not recession proof. Best I can do today is WATER. Water is the best product....Ok i can do better than that. That advice really put me to shame. Let's see...........Out the Door Top Coat

I ain't got much folks except for the dog destruction count

Dog Destruction Count: pulled apart another magazine....The New Yorker (thank God it's a weekly)

Took apart and shred an entire roll of toilet paper and peed on it...not on the floor on the toilet paper

Obviously he is still paper training AND he is a voracious reader.

Organic Nails not holding up well. Might have to switch to silk wraps

life goes on....

So I love people with downs syndrome. I think they are super cute. They make me smile. I have a cousin named Tracy that has downs and she LOVES the game UNO.

I think I may change my handwriting like when I was in grade school. Although I think it will be way harder than it was then it's like learning in instrument...it's way easier when you where younger.

Dog destruction count: He has been good this week: 1/4 of a roll of toilet paper. Three paper towels. Tag off my underwear. This was a very good week.

Product tip: Khiels Black mascara. It is awesome. Great for super natural looking lashes. I like the Brown color

forgot a product or beauty thing

I feel so not pretty today or witty after all the puking but my new beauty obsession is an organic nail gel called CALGEL. They paint it over your real nails and it isn't thick or anything it just looks like your nails. Then they paint over that and your nail polish lasts for like 3 weeks. You repaint yourself if you want using non acetone nail polish remover in between fill ins. You normally don't have to get them filled until months time and they evidently are not as damaging to the nail. Well as non damaging as having something suffocate the nail bed, but then again so does nail polish. The best thing is they don't look all Real Housewives of NJ....not that I don't want to look like them. I am kind of in love with DENA and yes I do want to be all over her like last years Versace. Those who get that reference good job. Those that don't it's not what you think. I will let you know how I like these babies my dear readers.

My Dog and I are One

Last night I drank too much...well not too much but my body did not absorb enough and I got sick, real sick. I shat like crazy and puked a ton. I was hot, real sweaty hot all night so on one of my trips to the bowl I figured I would make a little towel bed for myself on the floor. After trying to sleep on it for like an hour I went back to my Africa Hot bed....decided that wasn't a good idea either so went back to throw up and lay on my towel bed. I placed myself delicately on the towel bed and felt something squishy on my arm, squishy and stinky. It was poop. I guess Beckett had the same idea and shat there too. Cleaned up went back to my real bed and then Beckett started throwing up in his dog bed... Haha he had sympathy pains. We are the same person. Here are some other examples.

1. We look alike (small, white, fluffy, looks cute, but is a bad ass)

2. He is allergic to cats..so am I

3. He is a daredevil

4. We both eat dry food and find wet food gross!

5. We both lift our leg to pee

6. We both like boys

7. We both have burns identical one's from punks (the incense) from the 4th of July BBQ

8. We both like Bob Denver

9. We both cry at Extreme Home Makeover

10.  We both like to be held but might 2 seconds later decide we are over it

Dogs and Products and Shit

Ok...so I said I wouldn't blog.....LIES. I have weird things to say and people find them funny. I have a new puppy that I think is my child who is also funny. Yes this dog  I mean blog will sometimes be about dogs (super queer) but it will be funny mostly and weird always and will often involve product and beauty tips. This is a test folks. Everyone always said I should have a blog so I am trying it...please let me know if it's funny, if it's sucks, and if I should just stop.

ps...seriously just realized last night when I could not sleep that my name is a 4 letter word. It all makes so much sense now. My sailor mouth feels totally justified.